Nineteenth Day of Christmas: Santa is, in fact, white

That isn’t a political or social statement. I know Santa is white because Santa paid me a visit last night in the company of a red-headed Irish elf with a reindeer disguised as a kitten named Bill Murray (the kitten wasn’t present physically, just in spirit). The thing that might surprise you, however, is that Santa is a woman. It was a little difficult to determine beneath the frothy white beard, but I’m fairly certain of it. More outrageous still, I’m pretty sure woman Santa is involved with the Irish elf, who also happens to be a woman. So yes, Fox News: Santa is white. But you neglected to reference her gender, or sexuality, which is a little unexpected given the station’s historical distaste for the LGBT community.

(Next week we’ll argue about the race, sex, and sexual orientation of the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Great Pumpkin, and Jesus … whoops, guess I’m late to the party on the latter.)

In any case, the real story is that I received a knock on my door around 8:30 p.m. last night. Santa and one of her most loyal elves (Aileen Manley and former New Times calendar editor Maeva Considine) had a bag of toys for Colin and I–a marshmallow shooter I’d had my eye on for awhile, a book that teaches how to make balloon animals, a white chocolate Santa beard, etc. In exchange, Colin and I gave them a stocking–embroidered with their names, of course–filled with goodies from Peru as well as a Christmas tree ornament with a rainbow and leprechaun and a knitted rainbow cat mohawk from Etsy. And a bottle of Jameson. (Maeva babysat Jack and Cat Cat for a week and a half while we were in Peru and, given the size and frequency of their fecal output, I figured we should go a little above and beyond in the present department.)

Anytime someone shows up at our door in costume, it’s cause for celebration. Our house is difficult to find and, well, I love a good costume. Maeva does too–in the two and a half years or so that I’ve known her, I’ve seen her in a kangaroo costume, a gopher costume, some bizarre costume that incorporated camouflage, a horse head, and an Irish flag, and probably even more than I just don’t recall–which is probably why we get along so well. But it was especially nice to have a holiday surprise for which I was the intended recipient. You get that less and less frequently as an adult–people going out of their way to surprise and delight you–so when it happens, it’s always an incredible moment of gratitude. And a degree of hilarity, as you can tell from the photo.

Maeva and Aileen Xmas_1

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  1. […] That time she showed up at my house dressed as an elf, with her girlfriend dressed as Santa with a stocking full of Christmas […]

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