Second Day of Christmas: When the Holidays Attack!

This might be considered cheating, but I realized that I’ve been writing about the holidays for years, in my capacity as arts and managing editor of New Times (the San Luis Obispo one–I recognize that there are like 10). Every year we produce a Holiday Guide riffing off a theme selected by the editorial department. Our 2010 Holiday Guide was titled “Attack of the Holidays!!” and mostly addressed the fact that people seem to treat the approach of the holidays as nothing less catastrophic than a pack of zombies or three-headed cannibals trudging through your front yard and trampling your azaleas in a bid to eat your entire family. I love these issues. I mean, they’re a total pain in the ass, but where else are you going to find a survival kit comprised of cookie cutters and Christmas lights?

Here are some of my favorite excerpts from the 2010 Holiday Guide: the cover, which features San Luis Obispo artist Neal Breton (who loathes Christmas and Santa Claus) as The Holiday Monster; a line-up of the holiday enemies you’ll be up against; a holiday survival kit (put together by none other than yours truly); a guide for how to survive the Scrooges in your life (ahem, that would be mine as well); a humorous approach to surviving the holidays alone (by my boyfriend, Colin Rigley, and written before he was my boyfriend); and suggestions for launching a pre-emptive strike (this is getting embarrassing but me as well, again).

HG page 01(new)


HG page 09(new) HG page 08(new)


HG page 10(new)


HG page 61(new)


HG page 57(new)


HG page 12(new)






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