Excerpts from cat care instructions…

In preparation for my fast-approaching departure to Peru, I’ve prepared two sets of instructions addressing 559091_10151424818188355_357534687_n the care and keeping of my two terrors: Jack and Cat Cat. I’m splitting the time that we will be gone into two halves; the first of these parts, they will be in my dad’s care, and on the second half my friend Maeva Considine will be assuming responsibility for them. This was necessary because the cats are sufficiently high maintenance that three weeks with a single sitter was just too great a burden for any one person. All that howling and medicating and lap time. I’ll be dropping them off at my dad’s house tomorrow at noon and already I miss them. A lot. Those fat, furry terrors might vomit furballs; dance on our faces at all hours of the night; and demand food and outside walks constantly and loudly, but they’re8175_10151424818463355_707190870_n my furry terrors and I love them desperately. So it stands to reason that I may have gone a little overboard in compiling a list of instructions for their care–which really turned into a multi-page manifesto that read so ridiculously that I decided to post excerpts from the Cat Care Manifesto here, for other people to sympathize with the trials and tribulations my dad and long-suffering friend Maeva are soon to face:

We feed them once in the morning before going to work, once when we get home from work, and a third time before bed. They will howl for more food (constantly). Ignore them.

Also, Jack especially drinks a lot of water–which I think might have something to do with the medication–so I have to constantly replenish his bowl.

Cat Cat sometimes throws up hairballs, but other than that they don’t vomit very much.

1000789_10151584395158355_1567991320_nJack will try to sit on your lap, constantly … He will also probably try to dart outside when you open the door. Neither of them can be allowed outside. Cat Cat is a particular flight risk since she has a tendency to just start running every time she gets outside. Jack usually stays close to people, but I don’t know what kind of mental space he’s going to be in with us gone.

Cat Cat might try to jump on your back when you  bend over, so be careful. She especially likes 65101_10101871425046026_1458928609_nto sit on people’s backs after they’ve been working out (she likes the smell).  She meows a lot and sounds really, really sad when she meows, but that’s just her way of expressing herself.

We have an extra bag of their hypoallegernic food, so they should have plenty of that.

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